is a movie i saw for the first time this week. with this writer's strike, we all know there's nothing good on television and so i'm trying to catch up on *good* movies that i've never seen. the list is endless because if it's not a disney movie, little einsteins, or a really bad movie called 'candy land', i haven't seen it.
raising helen is not really a great movie, after all is said and done. but, that said, i managed to watch the whole thing. it focused on a cute, rich, thin, bubbly woman who is asked to raise her sister's kids after she suddenly dies. it hit me--not for the first time, either-- after i was done watching it that the 'who gets 'em' discussion needs to be revisited in my house again.
i just don't have any good solution here. i have a family. kevin has a family. we have friends. but there's not a single person i know (or am related to...) ... (or i can even fathom) ... that would fit the bill for us. in the movie, during the tearjerker moment when the two living sisters are talking about WHY kate hudson's character was chosen, one of them said something that stuck with me: we shouldn't choose the person who would be the most obvious choice-- the responsible sibling with 4 kids already....the across-town grandparent who raised us: we want--need-- our children to be raised by someone who would most closely match the way kevin and i would do it, no matter how far they are or the upheaval in that person's life. i don't know anyone who could or would do that for us. i don't know anyone who could come close.
and-- i really do want my kids to be raised here, if possible. i wouldn't want their lives interrupted any more than they already would be. i'd like them to have the support of the people they already know--their friends, their school, their church. i'd like them to have younger-ish folks raising them, people at least CLOSE to the age of their own parents. no grandparent should have to raise their children's children. it's too much. kevin's sibling is obviously out of the question. my sisters, and there are two, are the next most obvious choice. but they both are single, focused on careers, and they're great aunts but they would have no idea how to raise kids. especially mine! i say that with love, if they are reading. :) i have a couple of friends who i think MIGHT fit the bill, but those people have kids already. how do you even begin to burden someone who's not related to you (or someone who is...) by having them become parents twice over to someone else's kids?
i used to pray that god would take kevin and me together, at the same time, so that we wouldn't have to live life without the other. i still hope for that--i just hope that it's when our girls are grown!
so i guess i'm taking applications. who out there (this is rhetorical, people) knows how i do things? who will ensure that my girls never find out that mamas really DON'T have magic eyes? who will make them believe that they really DON'T let you into kindergarten if you can't put your face under water? who will remind them that they're not too good to share a sock and underwear drawer with their sister for all of eternity (or until i have more space!)? who will tell them each and every day that they are so blessed and fortunate that they have a place to live, food to eat, a car to ride in, and that every time they get a new toy, they must give up an older one to a less fortunate person? who will make them socialize with all sorts of people, even those with disabilities, so that they understand how to interact with anyone who crosses their path? who else will not be mad in the morning when they wake up with juliet's feet in their face and georgia's pallet at the foot of the bed while the grownups are hanging on for dear life at the edge of the bed?
i know the answer. nobody can do that and love them like we do. but i have to keep looking until i find the person who would come closest. until then, i'm driving Extra Careful and i'm going to stop watching some of these cathartic movies!!!
